How to Just Dance (And Feel Less Self-Conscious Doing It)

Have you ever felt a wave of self-consciousness at the thought of dancing? You're not alone.

Our relationship with dance may be complicated, often stirring up various feelings and self-conscious thoughts such as:

• I don’t know how to dance.

• I’m a bad dancer.

• I hate being forced to dance at events.

• I feel awkward.

• I don’t know what to do.

As a dance/movement therapist, I’ve heard these thoughts not only from clients, but from just about everyone. Even 'dancers' with extensive formal training can feel self-conscious, especially when asked to dance without any choreography.

Nevertheless, dance is healing and can connect us to both ourselves and others.

The benefits of dance are widely known and accepted. Yet, many people still feel hesitant to participate. Let's delve into the reasons why.

Our dance spaces often do not support dance for everyone.

In the United States, many dance spaces do not support dance for everyone.

For example:

• Dance classes are often too expensive.

• Adaptive or inclusive dance classes are not always readily available.

• Outside of dance classes, there seem to be limited options for people to safely dance in community.

Many believe that dance ability is more important than dance itself. 

Dance has existed for thousands of years, and dance as performance and entertainment dates back centuries. 

Still, if you ask your grandpa (ok, maybe your great grandpa) whether they used to dance and enjoy it, the answer would probably be yes, even without formal dance training.

Although our perception of dance has changed over time, I believe anyone can dance. Just watch kids groove when music comes on.

Dance is like a universal language we all speak; we might just need a bit more practice.

Focusing on ability often leads to comparison, as there will always be someone 'better' and someone 'worse.' What if, instead, we challenged these beliefs and welcomed everybody to dance?

Social isolation may make connection (and thus dance) feel pretty scary.

Have you heard of the loneliness epidemic? According to the 2023 Surgeon General’s Advisory, people are spending more time alone and less time socially engaged than ever before. 

The thing about social isolation is that it limits exposure to different kinds of social situations. In psychology, we know this limited exposure can increase anxiety over time.

In other words, the less time we spend around others, the more anxiety we're likely to feel around other people.

Regularly attending community dance events might make us feel anxious or scared at first, but over time, anxiety would likely decrease due to gradual exposure.

Solutions

Now, the part you really came here for... Let’s move onto a few solutions that may help you feel less self-conscious dancing.

Dig deeper into your personal beliefs about dance.

You might ask yourself questions like:

• Where did I learn these beliefs about dance?

• How do these beliefs align with my values? 

• Do I have to be 'good' at dance to enjoy it? 

• Why am I dancing?

• Is this a performance or am I dancing for a different reason (eg connection, joy, emotional release)? 

Dance without comparison and judgment.

Comparison is normal. Without it, would self-consciousness even exist? When comparison or judgmental thoughts arise, see if you can observe them with curiosity and compassion. Then, refocus your attention on your body or the kind faces of those around you.

Also, try to avoid making judgmental comments about other people’s dancing. Even if your intentions are good, the impact could be harmful and may even lead to more self-judgment. 

Take it step by step.

Gradual exposure works! You could move from dancing alone to with a friend, to in a small group, to in a large group. 

Look for safe, supportive community dance spaces. 

If they don’t exist, consider forming one with others who want to dance in a safe, supportive environment.

Book an appointment with a dance/movement therapist.

We’d love to dance with and support you!

To 'just dance' is more than fun; it’s therapeutic and, at its core, an act of self-acceptance. 

So, take a step, feel the rhythm, and get dancing!

Curious if dance/movement therapy is right for you? Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation through my online portal.

Jenna Caggiano, LMHC, BC-DMT